It’s been a tough couple of weeks but this last week has been especially tough! I’ve reached the top and had to stop before I’ve blown a fuse!
Firstly my husband has been off work all week after hurting his back at work and is off for at least another 2 weeks. Let me just explain something, my husband is someone who HATES relaxing and doing nothing so to be off work, stuck at home and unable to do anything is driving him crazy and that is driving me crazy! Doing nothing is also making him really grouchy! Ok I know he’s hurt his back and he’s in a fair bit of pain but seriously I can’t wait for him to get back to work for all our sakes!
Secondly it’s been really hot here this week, my car doesn’t have aircon and I’ve had lots of meetings this last week which have meant spending lots of time in the car! I really need a new car before next summer……..one with aircon!
And finally there’s J and Prep! He’s been coping really well whilst at school but as soon as he’s out of those school gates all hell breaks loose! This week has been worse than last week and it’s just been constant, one meltdown after another :( On Wednesday it took me almost 20 minutes to get him into the car when we left school! It was too hot, the seat didn’t look right, he couldn’t get in with his shoes on, once he was in the seat didn’t feel right and it was hot so he got back out again………. it just went on and on. Then he started on the way home because the wind blew into the car and touched him! It’s been like that all week, he’s been way more meltdowny and grumpy than usual. J doesn’t understand his emotions or how to control them so we only ever get extremes……….. extreme happiness, extreme excitement, extreme sadness and of course extreme anger. He has been shouting and screaming just about everything to us, he’s been extremely unco-operative, every tiny little bump has meant that the world is going to end, (and there’s been a few, his clumsiness has skyrocketed too), he’s had a problem with just about everything, he’s been quite aggressive towards us, (pushing, hitting, kicking, pinching and biting), he’s started biting himself and sucking his arms, legs, fingers etc,he’s barely eaten at home and some of the bedtime battles have been quite spectacular! Meanwhile at school he’s been a different child.
We have had a couple of issues at school. The first day at the ECDP (Early Intervention) he was due to be in another classroom with a new teacher so that caused a mini meltdown, (but in a way it was nice for them to see that), once Miss C had told him that there was some mix up with numbers and he and some of his other former classmates from last term would in fact be back in their old classroom with their teacher from last term, Miss S, he was ok and happily went into his classroom. My issue with this is, we have been told that he will be going into the other classroom with the new teacher, they just don’t know when that will be. They have introduced him to the new teacher and even to the new classroom but each time Miss S, (who he feels very secure with) has been with him, when he moves she won’t be there. So we’re going to still have all the issues we had on his first morning. *sigh*
He went into school ok each morning until Thursday this week, (once we’d actually got to school). I took him to school on Wednesday morning, (mainstream Prep), and we had the usual fun and games trying to get ready for school, leaving and then during the car journey but once at school he went in ok, not happy but ok. He went straight to the table with the clean chair and the pink playdough………….only thing was the classroom had been moved around and the playdough table wasn’t where it was supposed to be! It really knocked him for six and he refused to go to the playdough table. Whilst we had a few grumbles I left him creating something with a peg board. Thursday morning he just point blank refused to go into school and I had to
drag carry him in and then catch him twice as he managed to escape the classroom, he didn’t get very far, I was ready for anything. He didn’t look too impressed when I left him that morning and he certainly made me suffer when I collected him Thursday afternoon. Yesterday was pretty much the same as Thursday, but he also banged his head (purposely!) on the wooden railing at school and informed me, whilst crying, that he couldn’t go to school because he had hurt his head and I’m sure it’s all linked to the classroom furniture being moved around. I have spoken with the teacher and I’m hoping if they decide to move things around again they will give him some sort of warning because he can’t cope with change.
He made a good start with food during his first week of school, eating pretty much everything I put into his lunchbag, (much to my amazement!) but over the later part of this week he has come home with at least half of his packed lunch. Again I think it could be related to the change around of the classroom but maybe it’s also getting to the “ok I’ve been a school a couple of weeks and I still don’t want to be here” stage.
The other issue we’ve been having whilst he’s been at mainstream Prep is toileting……….. he just hasn’t been going at all! He often waits until he’s desperate for a wee before he’ll go so we prompt him every so often to go, try for a wee and his ECDP teachers also remind him so no problems on a Monday or Tuesday. I spoke with his Prep teacher about it and she told me that she has been reminding him every lunchtime to “go to the toilet, wash your hands and get your lunchbag”……….(take note of her words) Far too many instructions all in one go for J bless him. When I asked him why he hadn’t been for a wee he replied, (Miss C never told me to, she said I had to wash my hands!”. *sigh* So had another conversation with her Friday morning about how it would be better if she gave one instruction at a time and made it clear that he had to go to the toilet, (for a wee) and then remind him to wash his hands afterwards. Finally yesterday he actually had a wee at school so he didn’t have belly ache and he wasn’t bursting to go when we got home. I’m hoping this continues, once he’s been doing it for a couple of weeks he’ll get used to the routine and will (hopefully) just do it automatically…………..only time will tell.
Overall he’s coping so incredibly well whilst at school but out of school is such a different story. I wonder will it always be like this? Will it pass once he finally gets settled and then start again next year?
I get why his behaviour is the way it is, I really do……. I get that he trying so hard to be “good” in school and to be like all the other kids and I understand that once he leaves school he’s with Mum (and Dad) again so he feels he can just release everything he’s been trying to control all day because he knows we love him unconditionally and it doesn’t matter what he throws at us (literally, it was the office chair this morning!), we’ll always be there. You see I do, I really do get it but that doesn’t mean I don’t wish it was a little easier. I love him and even with the constant meltdowns I love every minute that I spend with him but over the past 2 weeks I’ve started missing some of the fun we had together before school began.