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Posts Tagged ‘love’

The most beautiful eyes in the world……

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As my heart swells with pride, happiness and love I can’t think of a better day to share this with you…………

J says I love you everyday, it’s part of his routine at bedtime and when on the rare occasion that I manage to escape go out, (usually to the supermarket), on my own, but it’s rarely said with any feeling behind it. I know that J loves me, he doesn’t have to say it because the little things he does everyday show me ………………. but this little note along accompanied by a hug *sigh* ……………..words can say a million things. xx

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6 years ago today my life changed completely…………….

6 years ago I was resting quietly watching Prison Break when my water’s suddenly broke a month earlier than they were due to.!

I’d had a difficult pregnancy. I’d had 2 bleeds which quite frankly had us crippled with fear and had us thinking that once again the worst was going to happen. When we’d finally reached 14 weeks, further than we’d ever got before, we’d had our first scan and finally felt brave enough to tell our parents, then went on to tell other important people once we’d had a second scan and had passed the 20 week mark. By 20 weeks I had developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, (something that has remained with me), and SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction). Both meant moving around quickly became painful and difficult…….Little did I know that over the next few weeks this would get so bad that I would become housebound except for hospital and midwife visits and Hubby would be cutting my food up for me, filling forms in for me etc because my hands and the lower half of my body had become pretty much useless. I then began to swell, really swell…………my hands, my feet, my face and everything in between. My blood pressure rose and I developed Pre-Eclampsia. At 34 1/2 weeks I started having contractions during a hospital stay (for the high blood pressure), thankfully with medication labour was stopped. I returned home only to be back at the hospital a week later begging for my baby to be born! I was in so much pain! The doctor and midwives assured me that they didn’t deliver babies that early and that they had booked me in to be induced the following week…………………………………that night my waters broke!

After 25 hrs of contractions every 2-5 minutes, alot of gas and air, (Hubby said I really did look like I was flying high ;) ), and a spinal block that had only worked on one side, the doctors and midwives realized there was a problem. J was struggling……………I was struggling and I can still hear the Doctor’s words, “we need to get this baby out now“. I was whisked off to theatre whilst Hubby was left standing in our side room, a cleaner later brought him down to the theatre room!

A little while later I heard one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard, my baby boy’s first cry! Hubby held him close to me so that I could see his beautiful face and stroke his tiny fingers. I’d never known love like that which hit me at that very moment! :)

my beautiful baby boy xx

After a brief couple of hours together J was taken away to Special Care, it was another 2 days before I got to see him again. But after a week in hospital we finally got to take a gorgeous baby boy home, it was Mother’s Day. :)

Six years have passed so quickly and he has grown so fast, it’s hard to believe that six years ago I was sat watching the TV ……………

Hope he has a great birthday :)

Mummy loves you heaps little man, I’ll never forget the day that I saw you for the first time. The love I felt then has simply grown over the past 6 years……………..You’re the best thing that ever happened in our lives and we love you :) xxxxx

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Happiness is………..

Waking up every morning to my son’s beautiful smile as he says “morning Mum!” :)

The sound of my Son giggling with his friends as they play :)

Watching my son create something with Daddy using his tools and toolbench :)

Seeing my son’s eyes light up when I say he can have an extra 10 minutes at bedtime :)

Feeling a cool breeze hit my face as I walk along a beach collecting shells and rocks with J :)

Watching my son peacefully asleep, all snug and wrapped up in his quilt :)

Playing snakes and ladders and letting J win just to see his face light up :)

When my Hubby surprises me on a cold morning with a hot cup of coffee in bed :)

Listening to J explain a long story and seeing the smile on his face when he can see in my eyes that I’ve listened to the whole thing :)

Enjoying a 3-way cuddle – Mummy, Daddy and J :)

So many different experiences but ultimately it’s being with my hubby and my son :)

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For the year’s final week of The Gallery the lovely Tara over at Sticky Fingers has made the theme Love :)

So many possibilities popped into my head all at once, but for me one thing really stands out from the rest………………

This is my beautiful Nan, this is the person who when I was growing up showed me more love and understanding  than I could have ever asked for, she was my angel, my protector, my guide……………. MY NAN x

After my Granddad died my Nan’s health issues became more obvious, my Nan had Altziemers and spent her last few years with us living in a nursing home. I used to visit my Nan every week and loved listening to her stories, although at times it would break my heart to see her as she was. My Nan lost her baby when he was just a teenager, my Uncle had Cystic Fibrosis, I was almost 5 when he died and at the time he was my best friend. After he died my relationship with my Grandparents grew stronger, especially with my Nan, growing up she was my best friend. However because of the Altziemers she at times didn’t remember that he and my Granddad had pasted away and so instead of putting her through all that pain again I used to tell her, “I’m sure he’ll be in touch soon, he’s abit busy at the moment” when she told me that they hadn’t been to see her for a while.

In May 2005 whilst out on one of our walks, we made daisy chains, my Nan loved daisies. I made her a crown and placed it on her head telling her that she looked beautiful and that she looked just like an angel. She then looked at me and replied “I’ll always be your angel”, as I think about that moment now it brings tears to my eyes and it means so much to me now but at the time it was just something that she had said. I often wonder if she knew what was coming over the next few weeks…………… a few days after our outing my Nan had a stroke. She fought for a couple of weeks, she fought really hard but living was just too hard, so we told her “it’s ok you can go, we’ll be ok” and she slowly slipped away from us. I was a broken person, I couldn’t function, my world had ended and a part of me had died with her.

Then a couple of months after she had left us I discovered I was pregnant. I had previously had 4 miscarriages so was very cautious about telling people but this time it felt different, it was like something was telling me it’ll be ok. We had a few scary moments and I had a fairly difficult pregnancy but 9 months after we’d said goodbye to my Nan a new love entered our lives………… J x

I can’t put into words the love I felt the first time I saw and held my baby, he was (and is) the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. He’s an amazing little boy who is beautiful on the inside and the outside, he is someone who has shown me just how great love can be and someone who has taught me so much. I feel so lucky that my Nan was my angel and sent me this gorgeous little man who has blessed us in so many ways. J has always had a special relationship with my Nan despite the fact that they never got to meet, he calls her his special Nanny and has been seen talking to her and before leaving the UK loved taking flowers to her grave and talking to her there. He’s also, at times, alot like my Nan.

Thankyou Nan for always being my angel and for watching over J and thankyou for sending me the greatest love I’ve ever known. xx

 

Now please pop over to Sticky Fingers to see some other lovely photos, after leaving a comment of course………….. go on show me the love :)

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