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Archive for the ‘thankyou’ Category

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve not posted anything for a while now. I’ve decided to take a little break from blogging.

I’m not sure how long my break will be but I promise I will be back at some point.

We have alot of different “stuff’ happening in the MumtoJ house at the moment. We are still struggling to sort out and deal with Hubby’s back injury, sorry but NHS you are very slow. For the government that wants to get people into work and off of benefits, here you have a man who has been unable to work for 2 years now due to his back injury but is desperate to get his back fixed (as best as it’s can be) and get back to work…………….(and a wife who desperately wants to get him back to work and oput from under her feet, I love him but his boredom is driving me mad). Despite doing everything we can, he is still waiting to be seen by a specialist and (hopefully) fixed. His back injury has also has other effects on family life because obviously he can’t play with our son in the same way that he used to 2 years ago.  J is a very active child and has struggled to understand that Dad can’t play on the trampoline and he can’t climb on Dad etc etc and so that has meant I have had to try to take his place and J has had to adjust his play. J has ASD, adjusting his play has not been easy for him.

We have also moved house and have issues with heating etc, which hasn’t been much fun over the cold period that we’ve been having. As well as moving house J has moved school. He’s now going to a small village school AND he LIKES it…………………HE ACTUALLY LIKES IT!!!! Obviously he’s had some changes to cope with and he’s surprised us by coping remarkably well, so much better than we ever thought he would. We’ve seen a huge change in J since starting his new school, he’s much calmer before and after school, he’s talking about what he’s done at school, he’s telling us how he’s played with C or S or J at playtime, he’s eating his lunch and getting him dressed and ready for school isn’t such a big battle. All of which backs up our claim that school was causing his anxiety driven behaviour. So changing school has so far been a brilliant change and is working well for all of us.

We’ve also had Christmas to deal with, ok I know everyone had Christmas to deal with but ASD parents will understand when I say URGH!

I’ve also had some health issues myself to deal with, some of which are still ongoing but I’m not going to get into right now.

And then there’s been the whole issue of the future. Do we return to Australia? We want to but if Hubby’s back doesn’t get fixed is returning to Australia still an option that we should pursue. J has told some of the children in his class that he IS going back to Australia and we are very aware that there is lots that he misses. The education and Healthcare system works much better for J in Australia, so far it has been pretty crap here in the UK. We are still struggling to get a UK diagnosis, so far tests have shown he has difficulties but he scored one point less than needed on one test for an Autistic Spectrum Disorder diagnosis……….Guess Australia supported his needs too well or maybe he lost a little ASD on the flight to the UK. Anyway without that all important UK diagnosis he gets no help or support. So Australia would be and is so much better for J. There’s also the added bonus of an outdoor lifestyle, the weather makes that so much more possible. With the cold weather we are both constantly ill and stuck indoors. That said if Hubby can’t get his back fixed he won’t be able to return to the job that he has done all of his working life and so the question How do we support ourselves financially arises. I’d be happy to return to work but what does Hubby do?

We’ve got lots of other minor “stuff” going on in the background too. So as I said at the start of the post I’m taking a break from blogging so that we can try to deal with some of the things going on in our lives at the minute.

See you soon

Thanks for sticking with me, I’ll hopefully be back soon.

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This was a very hard post for me to write, those that visit regularly will know that my Nan meant a great deal to me.

Last Saturday marked 7 years since she said goodbye to us and joined my Grandad in Heaven. On that day every year since that day back in 2005 I experience mixed feelings. Over the last 7 years I’ve spent alot of time writing these feelings down and a while back shared some in a poem I wrote to my Nan, The Final Goodbye.

I know I’ve shared this story before (here) so don’t want to bore everyone with it all over again but as I’ve said (many) times before writing is how I deal with how I’m feeling. I keep going back to a few weeks before she died, we were out walking, (she in her wheelchair, me pushing), we made daisy chains, she was so happy and relaxed and when I placed a crown of daisies on her head I told her she looked like an angel………..she replied with “I’ll always be your angel”. Those words keep going around in my head, did she know what was about to happen, did she know what would happen over the next few months………..or years? My Nan had Alzheimer’s  and so at the time I thought it was simply “one of those comments” that she often made but a just few days later those words meant so much more to me and today I don’t think I can put into words just how much those words that she said to me actually mean. A few days after that outing my Nan had a stroke, she fought so hard to stay with us but it was just too hard. I told her that it was ok for her to go and that we’d be ok, she looked at me with so much sadness in her eyes I could feel my heart breaking right there. I know people say that when someone they love dies a part of them dies too, well that day a part of me did die, I was broken and didn’t know how to deal with my grief. Even now as I sit writing this I can feel a huge wave of grief washing over me, a part of me is missing and it’s a part that I can never get back.

However the anniversary of her death is also the anniversary of the start of my pregnancy with J. 9 months after I’d lost a huge part of my life, an amazing and wonderful new part of my life entered the world. In a way he saved me, I was so lost in my grief when my Nan died and I wasn’t coping, I just couldn’t find a way to move on. When I discovered I was pregnant, although cautious after 4 miscarriages, I knew this pregnancy was going to be different, this baby was a precious gift from my Angel,my Nan. I’ve always known he was special, I just didn’t realise just how special he was until recently. Going on to have another 2 miscarriages has meant me having a whole lot of tests being done, (and I’m back at the hospital next week), and I’ve been told that they’re not sure why I keep miscarrying but they know it’s me with the “problem” and that I may only have a 20% chance of having a successful pregnancy……………… See why that makes J even more special. :)

So with everything going around in my mind at the moment, I’ve had alot of mixed feelings about the anniversary this year. I miss my Nan everyday and if I could have one wish it would be to have just one more day with her. I know that feeling will never go away. I know that I’ve never really dealt with my grief and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully deal with it. I know that I’ve often said to people that know me, J is my gift from my Nan and I’ve always believed that. But this year, with recent events in our lives etc I’ve really started to believe that. And I believe J was given to us for a reason, I needed something special and that something couldn’t get any more special than my precious boy.

Last Saturday as I watched my precious little man running around a local park, my heart smiled as I watched how free and happy he was. He didn’t know what a sad anniversary that day was but as I watched him I realised he was showing me that my Nan was free now, she’s reunited with my Grandad and her babies, she’s happy and at peace. And as I watched him those words rang out in my head once more “I’ll always be your Angel”.

I don’t know what this means, maybe it means I’m finally beginning to move on and to deal with my grief. We’ll go to the cemetery to visit my Grandparents tomorrow, I couldn’t do that last week, the feelings were too raw, it was too hard to face them but this week I feel a little more at peace with it all now and it’s all thanks to my special little boy.

My Dearest Nan,

I thank you for the gift of J

I thank you for showing me the way

I thank you for always be there

I thank you for loving enough to care

I thank you for memories to treasure

I’ll thank you for your love forever x

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6 years ago today my life changed completely…………….

6 years ago I was resting quietly watching Prison Break when my water’s suddenly broke a month earlier than they were due to.!

I’d had a difficult pregnancy. I’d had 2 bleeds which quite frankly had us crippled with fear and had us thinking that once again the worst was going to happen. When we’d finally reached 14 weeks, further than we’d ever got before, we’d had our first scan and finally felt brave enough to tell our parents, then went on to tell other important people once we’d had a second scan and had passed the 20 week mark. By 20 weeks I had developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, (something that has remained with me), and SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction). Both meant moving around quickly became painful and difficult…….Little did I know that over the next few weeks this would get so bad that I would become housebound except for hospital and midwife visits and Hubby would be cutting my food up for me, filling forms in for me etc because my hands and the lower half of my body had become pretty much useless. I then began to swell, really swell…………my hands, my feet, my face and everything in between. My blood pressure rose and I developed Pre-Eclampsia. At 34 1/2 weeks I started having contractions during a hospital stay (for the high blood pressure), thankfully with medication labour was stopped. I returned home only to be back at the hospital a week later begging for my baby to be born! I was in so much pain! The doctor and midwives assured me that they didn’t deliver babies that early and that they had booked me in to be induced the following week…………………………………that night my waters broke!

After 25 hrs of contractions every 2-5 minutes, alot of gas and air, (Hubby said I really did look like I was flying high ;) ), and a spinal block that had only worked on one side, the doctors and midwives realized there was a problem. J was struggling……………I was struggling and I can still hear the Doctor’s words, “we need to get this baby out now“. I was whisked off to theatre whilst Hubby was left standing in our side room, a cleaner later brought him down to the theatre room!

A little while later I heard one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard, my baby boy’s first cry! Hubby held him close to me so that I could see his beautiful face and stroke his tiny fingers. I’d never known love like that which hit me at that very moment! :)

my beautiful baby boy xx

After a brief couple of hours together J was taken away to Special Care, it was another 2 days before I got to see him again. But after a week in hospital we finally got to take a gorgeous baby boy home, it was Mother’s Day. :)

Six years have passed so quickly and he has grown so fast, it’s hard to believe that six years ago I was sat watching the TV ……………

Hope he has a great birthday :)

Mummy loves you heaps little man, I’ll never forget the day that I saw you for the first time. The love I felt then has simply grown over the past 6 years……………..You’re the best thing that ever happened in our lives and we love you :) xxxxx

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Over the past few months we’ve learnt just how valuable some friends can be.

Just before leaving Australia a couple of close friends that we made over there  helped us in simple ways. Supporting us by coming around regularly to see us,chatting,  helping us with our car, (because of Hubby’s hurt back he’s not be able to do any work on our car), trying to find some way that we could have stayed in Australia and simply by bringing us a smile and cheering us up. Although it has been nice to see a couple of close friends that we left behind in England, I do miss my Aussie friends and I know that J is missing his best friend, M, he’s even asked “when is M coming to my school?”

Since arriving back in the UK we’ve really struggled to find a rental property, the local council told us we weren’t a priority and we would have to go to the bottom of a very long waiting list to be housed and all but one private letting agency wouldn’t help at all because of our lack of UK references. We finally moved into a rental property last week but have spent the past few weeks staying with my Hubby’s best friend. Not only are we incredibly grateful that he put us up in his spare room but he has put up with J’s meltdowns, nightmare bedtimes, sharing his fridge, (which I kinda took over hehe), and his dog, (a big white staffy), being constantly bothered and even sucker punched, which really shocked us, J insisted he had done it because the dog liked it and was playing with him! We’re just grateful that the dog didn’t “play” back.  I can honestly say that I don’t know many people who would be willing to put up with everything that he has over the past few weeks and for that we will be forever grateful.

We’ve had advice and the odd message here and there online from some wonderful friends who have lifted our spirits. We’ve had catchups with some old friends that we left behind in the UK, which again has lifted our spirits.

Our friends have really got us through some tough times over the past few months and if any of them are reading this, (which I’m pretty sure a couple of them will), I just want to say…………….

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Today was my little man’s first day back at school. This school term actually started last week but our friends from the UK were here so we decided to let J have an extended school holiday. He’s been off school for a total of 3 weeks. During those 3 weeks we’ve had very few big meltdowns and only a few “mini meltdowns”. He’s also coped really well having our guests stay and has even slept through the night no less than 8 times in the last 3 weeks!!!!  We also thought we’d solved part of our bedtime battles with him, we still have the usual “I don’t want to go to bed”, “I’m not tired”, “I need a drink”…….and so on but I have been sitting with him once he’s in bed and had his stories etc. I’ve been sitting with him stroking his hand or head to calm him for about 10 minutes every night and it’s been working!! He hasn’t come out of his room even once in the last month once he’s been put to bed!!!

Last night I didn’t manage to calm him, he didn’t come out of his room but he did cry (real tears) and he did whine and several times told me he wasn’t going to school. *sigh*

Today it’s all change for him. Not only is he no longer attending EI, he is attending Prep 4 days a week (I’ve insisted he stay home on a Wednesday to give him the break he needs) but he also has a new teacher. Thankfully a couple of weeks before the end of last term his Prep teacher informed me that she was leaving at the end of term so that I could start to prepare him, unfortunately the school didn’t officially announce it until the end of the last week of term and the name of the new teacher was given to us on the very last day of term.  I received a phonecall at 9am yesterday from someone at the school asking for my email address. She then emailed a short letter for J including pictures of his new teacher, the Prep classroom, which has been changed around and the new entrance that the children are to go in. I’m very grateful to this person for taking up her personal time to do this for J. Thankyou

However, the school has been back for a week, there are a few ASD children in J’s class. Change can be hard for all children, throw a little ASD in and you have fun times…………NOT!  Other than this person calling and emailing we have had no contact with the school over the last week, I would have thought with the amount of meetings and issues that we’ve had with the school and J’s reaction to change (something that they are well aware of) that they may have taken 5 minutes out of just one of those days last week to email, call, write a brief letter………….whatever,  to inform us of the changes so that we had the time to prepare him. Instead it was left to this person to email in her own time. Again I’m very grateful and owe them our thanks.

Last night and this morning we’ve had lots of “I don’t want to go school”, “I don’t want to go in a new door”, “I don’t want a new teacher” and lots of “I hate school”. *sigh*

I’ve printed some information off that I compiled about J and about how he “copes” but then explodes at home because he isn’t really coping and gave it to his new teacher when I dropped him off this morning. I also had a very brief chat with her and explained a couple of his “issues”. She seemed friendly and receptive, it’s very early days but I guess we’ll see how we go.

The past few days has really highlighted just how hard the start of each school year is going to be for J ………. and for us. New teacher, new classroom, new routines…………….  It’s going to get easier…………………. right?

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So our friends left us last night to return to the UK and we’re missing them already. :(

It’s been great having them here for the past week and a half but it’s gone by way too quickly. Having them here has been a little like having a holiday, without actually having a holiday :) We tried to fit in as much as possible whilst they were here…………….. the Gold Coast, the Sunshine coast, the Beach, Brisbane, Australia Zoo, Whale Watching and Sydney, (although we didn’t join them whale watching or in Sydney). Here’s some pictures from our “holiday”

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been fab having them here!

J has been a star and has coped really well having guests stay with us. Our guests visiting Sydney was well timed and the “time out” that he needed. He spent a day in pj’s playing computer games and just being himself, which was just what he needed. He got pretty tired whilst they were here but only had a handful of meltdowns and saved them for when our friends weren’t with us, well done little man!

Having our friends stay was just what we all needed, a “holiday” and a little bit of home……….. so thanks S and M for visiting, come back again soon! :)

 

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Personalized ~ Mug

I was super excited to be chosen by Marthese to review one of her beautiful personalised mugs. All I had to do was to choose the picture that I wanted to be printed on the mug……………….. after a little bit of thought I decided on a picture of J feeding a Kangaroo at the Zoo.

View Jo 8 x 11...jpg in slide show

J doesn’t drink from a cup, he only ever uses a water bottle so I thought this would make a great first mug for him. I chose to have “lunch time” printed on the mug along with the picture, I thought by making it personal to J, he might be encouraged to use a mug at lunchtime rather than his water bottle.

The mug came beautifully gift wrapped and J loved it when he opened the box, (of course we’ve also had to keep the box and the ribbon because they are special!), he immediately asked if he could use it!
This mug is made of Fine Bone China and the images are not screen printed like you find in most places that offer them…but they are fired in a kiln…which means that they are dishwasher safe..and they do not fade with light or heat.  The image printed on our mug is stunning, it’s bright and looks just like the photo I took. (sorry about picture quality, my camera not really up to the job) Not only was J impressed with the mug but so was I, it really is beautiful.

This would be something I would buy for one of J’s Grandparents (he has 4 Nannies and 2 Grandads!), or maybe even for a good friend back in England, the only thing that would worry me about buying one for them is if would arrive in one piece, (England is a long way to send something breakable, without it getting broken). I think it would make a great personalized gift and even comes gift boxed so there’s nothing left for you to do.

Our only problem now is, it’s so nice and special that J has decided that he doesn’t want to use it anymore because  he doesn’t want to break it and has placed it on his shelf with his other “special things” :)

Marthese also has various other personalized gifts available here , including some gorgeous baubles which I’m already thinking would make great Christmas gifts for some special people in our lives. Also available are various toys, including a good selections of wooden toys, (some of which I have already purchased). I’m a big fan of wooden toys, J loves them and they seem to last so much longer than some of the plastic toys available today.

In order to win one of these beautiful personalized mugs please head over to Romantic Flair Original here and leave a comment telling Marthese how gorgeous these are (they really are stunning) and then leave a comment below to let me know that you have done so and why you would like to win one :)

closing date for entries is 29th May 2011, Australian residents only    Good Luck

You can also follow Romantic Flair Original and find more information on all of the products that Marthese has at her Facebook page here 

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary review copy Personalized Mug, courtesy of Romantic Flair Original via Aussie Mummy Bloggers. No financial payment was offered nor accepted for this post. All opinions expressed are purely my own.

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