Part of me has found it nice being back in England. It’s been nice catching up with some family and friends, I’ve enjoyed shopping a little more over here and Hubby has been seen by a spinal specialist already. However we seem to of had one bad thing after another happen during the last 3 months.
We didn’t have a great moving day and we’re still dealing with an issue from that day. Our container was also “delayed” in leaving and so missed the first ship it was supposed to be on, This has meant that not only has it arrived a month later than originally told but we have had to re-complete all of our customs forms too. Today we discovered due to the incompetence of our removal company in Australia and incorrectly labelled packages, Customs have opened some of our boxes/packages and have confiscated some of our belongings, despite the very same items being owned by us for over 7 years and so have travelled out of and into the UK on more than one occasion. Oh and we won’t know which items have been removed until our shipment is delivered to us on Friday!
We’ve struggled to get J’s diagnosis recognized in the UK. This has meant the school that we chose for him has had to source outside funding in order to provide him with support for the last term, however that funding has run dry and so this term it is expected that he will attend full time with no support. We also had to see the same Peadiatrician that refused to diagnose J before we left for Australia 2 years ago, it wasn’t a good meeting and we’re now waiting to see another Peadiatrician, 25 miles away! In Australia J had support however limited it was in school and he had support from an OT, Speech Therapist, Psychologist and Disability Services………….In the UK so far J will receive zero support.
Relationships with some family and friends have also not been as they were when we left 2 years ago. Time changes people and I guess being thousands of miles apart can also change a relationship too. I know it’s partly my fault too, I know I’ve changed alot. Another thing that’s forced a change in some of these relationships is reactions to J…………and my reactions to those reactions. What people have to remember is J doesn’t remember the majority of these people and so they are strangers to him…………He doesn’t react well to strangers unless he feels a connection with them, (like his best friend H). Then there’s been the people who haven’t been sure how to react to his behaviour and so once he has reacted negatively to them they haven’t returned for a second visit or haven’t been able to relax and be themselves around him on the next visit. And of course there have been the ones who still think our parenting needs work. Not everyone but some have and to be quite honest I just can’t be bothered to worry about what they may or may not think about my son’s behaviour or our parenting ‘cus we’re all doing the best we can and to me that’s all that matters.
Ofcourse the weather’s been up and down but we’ve felt the cold and we’ve all missed the sunshine that Australia gave us! And the icing on the cake………………… feeling cold is going to be even worse tonight, we had our boiler services today and was told it was leaking Carbon Monoxide and so had to be shut off for health and safety reasons, with the hope that it may get repaired tomorrow!
Then there’s Hubby’s back…………..the reason that we returned to the UK. We left Australia after being told there was nothing more Workcover would do and was told to claim financial support from the Australian Government, something that as non-citizens we couldn’t do. Since arriving back Hubby has been seen by a spinal specialist quite quickly but has now been referred to a pain clinic. They now think he has had a trapped nerve that is no longer trapped but is sending pain signals to his brain and body…………………………….Seriously, we came all the way back to the UK for them to tell us that!!!
If you add all of the above to how we miss our nice big house in Australia, (you forget how much smaller houses in England are), our friends that we left in Australia, the beach and the life that we had over there, we’re left questioning our decision. Did we do the right thing coming back? And where do we go from here?
You guys are in a really sucky position. But when it comes down to it you made the decision to go back because you felt you had no other choice. If hubbys back gets sorted is there anyway you guys could plan to return to Australia in time? I would suggest NZ but it sounds like the support here is about the same as the UK,non existent or incredibly hard to get. I wish I could say something helpful or useful but the best I can do is say “hang in there”. {{{}}}
It just sucks so much being back and with so many of our “relationships” changing it’s just made it harder. I think the hardest thing is that we had to come back, the choice was taken out of our hands. We love to return to Australia, (even J has said he misses the beach and his friend M), but finances will mean that if we ever return it will only be for a holiday, it’s just so expensive moving your life overseas. *sigh*
Hanging in there…………by a thread at the moment xx
It just sucks so much being back and with so many of our “relationships” changing it’s just made it harder. I think the hardest thing is that we had to come back, the choice was taken out of our hands. We love to return to Australia, (even J has said he misses the beach and his friend M), but finances will mean that if we ever return it will only be for a holiday, it’s just so expensive moving your life overseas. *sigh*
Hanging in there…………by a thread at the moment xx
Every single person in our life at some point asks “Why don’t you just go home to England surely it would be easier and cheaper” your post reinforces all my fears that it would be a huge risk. Anything I say is going to be trite – give it time, chin up etc but one thing I think you have to do especially in the UK is “push back “. You have to be a strong advocate and push hard for what you need for your son J and for your husband. Don’t take any crap – great writing look forward to reading more,
Trust me, we’ve returned to England twice now (1st time was my choice) and it’s definitely not easier or cheaper. The cost of living is less in England but so are the wages and the quality of life. I’ll always keep pushing and fighting for my son but right now I’m just getting a little tired.
I totally get it – I think we all feel the pressure to be doing as much as we can all the time and for me there is the constant worry that I should be doing more for Chelsea – even though everyone constantly does an Alison Pearson on me and says Oooh I don’t know how you do it” I know in my heart that I am just faking it and only just keeping all the balls in the air. Gotta get an easier life next time around. Look forward to reading more from you. Take Care X
Thanks you too
x
Oh Jo I feel for you I really do but what choice did you have? You will have to be super brave and just keep going for all your sakes ( as women always do!!!). I do hope things start to look up, sometimes I wonder what life is all about!!!! Do you have the option of coming back later? Maybe that’s something that will make you feel better, if your husband can get back to work and feels strong enough and then you might be able to get some part time work too while J is at school, you never know. Keep hoping my friend and we are all wishing you the best always xxxx
Hi Angela, We didn’t have any other choice, I think that’s what sucks the most, the decision was taken out of our hands
We don’t have the option of returning, it’s so expensive moving overseas and it’s just not financially viable. I’m trying to convince Hubby to move to a new area, we need to move forward I think not backwards, (does that make sense?). Hoping to have a few weekends away to check some other areas of the UK. Will let you know how that pans out……. I’m hoping to go back to work, luckily I work with children so I’m hoping to find work as a TA in a school or to work as a childminder from home, both options will mean that I can be available to care for J before and after school and during school holidays. Thanks for the best wishes xxx