J has NEVER been a child that has dealt with change or surprises well, everything has always had to be planned and J given warning of a possible change or “surprise”.
This weekend has been a tough one, J has been in a not so good mood.
My brother and his girlfriend came to visit Saturday morning, it was a planned visit and J was ready for it. The visit itself went pretty well, J was ok with them being here and showed them some of his things etc. Just before they left he began to have a little “moment” and refused to say goodbye to them when they left, choosing instead to hide in his room. This is where I began to worry what we were in store for next………. saying goodbye to people is something that he ………….prefers to do, so by missing out on doing so I just knew that he’d we’d have a problem. When he had calmed down from his “moment” (if you’re reading this little bro he moved on from banging on the floor to screaming about 3 seconds after I’d shut the front door), he then started complaining and whining because he hadn’t said goodbye to Uncle D………………and so the bad mood began!
I managed to get him to eat some cereal lunch and was just washing up the pots when there was a knock at the door. It was another family member, A, and her little boy. It was lovely to see her and I’d never met her little man before so it really was lovely to finally meet him and to have a quick cuddle
However this was a surprise visit, one that J was 100% not ready for. He wasn’t very nice to the 2 of them at all, he wasn’t happy about them touching his things and was just really unsettled having them at our house………….Then we had another surprise visit……….A’s brother, JA and his son! Again it was nice seeing them. However, despite being ok with JA and his son on a previous visit, J was not happy about having another surprise and proceeded to be not so nice to them aswell.
The bad mood continued into the evening and was still present this morning *sigh* So when JA and his son, L, came for another surprise visit it didn’t go down well. Again J wouldn’t let JA’s son touch any of his things and was not so nice to him. Just before JA and his son left J decided to hurt L. He pulled his hair and upset him…………..J tells me it’s because he asked if he could go on his DS!! Grrrrrrrr! But it wasn’t just them that he was mean to, this Mummy has received a couple more minor injuries too
This afternoon we went to visit a friend, a planned visit that he was looking forward to. Despite wanting to visit the friend he had an issue with getting in the car because there was a blanket under his booster seat (to protect the seat of the car), and he was insisting that he would get dirty if he got into the car whilst the blanket was under his seat………………….Anyhow once we’d gotten through that “discussion”, off we went. He behaved pretty well at our friend’s house, she allowed him to play on her Wii………Mario ofcourse! (Thankyou xxxx) He began to get a little cross when he had to turn the Wii off and it was time to leave……….unfortunately the bad mood continued once we had left. We popped to Tesco before going home (I needed milk) and although he didn’t have any big “moments”, the bad mood continued and he got a little upset. He’s now gone to bed grumpy and arguing………he doesn’t understand why he has to go to bed, he doesn’t like to sleep, Sleeping is boring…….etc etc (you know the usual things).
On top of the bad mood he’s refused to eat for most of the weekend, not unusual I know but he’s eaten even less than usual.
I don’t know what’s caused the bad mood. Maybe it’s the cold he’s caught, maybe it’s just the stress that’s built up whilst at school during the week, maybe it’s a reaction to events on Friday…………………or maybe it’s all of those things and the surprise visits were just too much to try to cope with.
So family and friends what I’m trying to explain/say/ask is ………………………..PLEASE let us know in advance before coming to visit. Please don’t just drop by and expect us to be happy to see you or indeed expect us to be able to just drop by with no notice. I’m not trying to be a pain, I’m not “playing up to J’s behaviour” and I’m not asking for much, just a little notice………a pre warning for J. We really do love seeing everyone but just need a little warning…………Thanks in advance











Wow what aweekend, you must be exhausted too you poor thing. hugs xxxxx
Hope the week is a little better.
I hope so Angela, we’re going to be working on a plan to move forward after Friday’s peadiatrician appointment so really, really hope his mood improves, it makes it so much easier to get things done when he’s happier
xx
Was good to see you, and already looking forward to tomorrow….must sort the DVD player out for you
And on the plus, now he is in bed you can chill for a bit!! I’ll always pre warn you I’m coming and you will never stop me visiting…….in the planned way of course!!! x
Always good to see you……yep he was in bed, didn’t sleep well up a few times through the night. We never want to stop you visiting, really looking forward to catching up again later xx
Well done for writing this Jo, it can be hard to explain this kind of thing to family and friends. And with pre warning the visits will be so much nicer for everyone. I am sorry J (and by association you guys) are having such a rough time at the moment
Big cyber hugs from New Zealand for you all.
Thanks Dearna, I hope family and friends take note, with pre warning there’s a better chance of J being ok with them visiting xxxx
I “feel” for you. Having a child with special needs is always a challenge, but when other people get involved and don’t understand, it makes it twice as bad. It can make us feel as mothers that we are doing something wrong…
*sigh* yep and it can make things that little more tiring…..
Thanks for dropping by