Just Thinking

So this month was my due date and whilst I’ve been trying not to dwell on anniversaries that I wish didn’t have to occur, there’s no escaping it.

By some coincidence my sister’s baby is due this week, which has shoved all of those “what could have been” thoughts and feelings right back to the front of my mind and heart. It’s not jealousy, in fact I’m very excited for her and can’t wait to see pictures of my new nephew and to meet him (via Skype), it’s just the whole “wow, that’s gone so quickly, it could have been us too” feeling, it would have been a nice thing to share with her.  The overwhelming sense of loss creeps up again, you start to wonder what might have been if things had turned out differently the first time around and ofcourse this last time. I suppose at the time I tried to deal with my feelings in the best way that I could, by keeping busy and trying not to think about it. J kept me busy ofcourse but I also helped to set up a parent support group (for parents/carers of children on the spectrum), my friend at the time kept me very busy with this, which at the time was what I needed. But then it became too much, I was trying to do too much. Trying to do too much just wasn’t working and when we received the test results (the tests completed by the hospital because we’d had recurrent miscarriages), it forced us to revisit that place inside again. I gave up running the support group and my friendship dwindled very quickly. At the time that added to the hurt and the stress but looking back now I’m glad that happened. I got to see that the friendship wasn’t what I thought it as and it enabled me to spend the time needed on me and my family and those feelings.

I’m rambling abit I know, but I like to write things down, it’s kind of therapeutic for me. Anyhow, I wrote a few words after the miscarriage earlier this year, just to get some feelings out, it’s not good to bottle things up. These are the words that I wrote……

For a small short time a little light shone

But now I know it’s too late, you’re already gone

Once again all of our hopes and dreams simply crashed

And ofcourse deep inside our hearts were bashed

Any of the feelings of hope that we had

I now know were there just to drive us mad

I think of all that we have and I feel my eyes gloss

Should we just be grateful and not mourn our loss

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Wordless Wednesday – Newspapers Can Be Fun

Newspapers can be fun

House hunting or designing?

Golf courses always need another hole.......in the middle of a lake! hehe

......and cars need decorating

............as do people, even the babies got "the J treatment"

Joining Trish at My Little Drummer Boys

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Working On Those Fine Motor Skills

Over the last few weeks we’ve been working really hard on J’s fine motor skills and his low muscle tone (in his hands). It’s an area that he struggles in, he hates writing and often says that it’s too hard and his hands hurt or they’re tired. So we’ve been trying to find different fun ways to aid his development in these areas.

using playdough

We started by using playdough using his hands to manipulate the dough into shapes to create models and then moved on to tougher things like Theraputty and clay which is much harder to manipulate. We’ve also used scissors to cut the playdough up, scissors are something J has always struggled with and still does, however he has made huge progress with these skills.

Theraputty is pretty handy stuff

The Theraputty is much tougher than playdough and so gives his muscle tone and fine motor skills a really good workout First we rolled the Theraputty into a long snake and then J used his index finger to make small indentations all the way along the snake. I then placed a box of marbles on J’s left side and asked him to place a marble into each dent that he had made but he was only allowed to use his right index finger and thumb to pick the marbles up. This not only worked on his fine motor skills but also mathematical skills (he created patterns whilst lining them up along his snake, without being asked to do so) and he had to cross his middle, which is something his OT and his teacher at the EI centre have both told us he needs to work on. Next I hid some new marbles and small balls in the Theraputty and told J if he could get them out of the Theraputty he could keep them, I’ve also hidden little toy bugs and animals (you know the one kind you buy for party bags) and done the same thing. J loves collecting little things like this so it’s something that works well Then to finish up we’ve been making handprints in the Theraputty, pushing down hard to make each print.

making patterns with pasta

We tried to get creative with our fine motor skills, working on J’s OCD “dirty” issues too. He doesn’t like to do alot of arty things involving paint, glue etc and it can take alot of bribery encouragement to convince him to take part in messy art. So we did panting with a twist I put together a couple of pots of a food colouring mixture and explained that it was the same thing that we put into his rainbow cakes. Then we got out some pasta and soaked it in the various pots. J took the pasta out of each pot using his finger and thumb (way to go for those fine motor skills!) and placed the pasta onto sheets of kitchen roll. This is where he got creative, the food colouring soaked into the kitchen roll creating patterns. We ended up with several pictures and ofcourse the coloured pasta which he also enjoyed making patterns with.

We’ve spent time writing in various things in a bid to improve his letter formation and again his fine motor skills. We’ve written in playdough with kebab skewers, we’ve written in flour (thanks Fi for this fab idea) and shaving foam and have formed letters with matchsticks (the coloured arty kind not actual matchsticks). We also been working on his pencil grip and handwriting with a little help from Mario, Smurfs and Angry Birds. J hates writing and so again by using some of his favourite things to help, it’s made it a little more fun for him. We’ve had great results so far, J is now holding a pencil further down, closer to the nib and is also now holding it with just 3 fingers instead of 4……………. Well Done Little Man, Mummy’s very proud, you’ve worked really hard

Some of J’s work……

Dad's Papa Smurf

 

Mum's a Smurfette

Angry Birds by J

 

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It’s Been A Hot Sunny Week – Silent Sunday

Beautiful Skies all week

 

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My Favourite Time Of Day

I was recently tagged by the wonderful Mummy Matters in a post titled My favourite time of day.

It may surprise most people but my favourite time of day is bedtime, nope not mine but J’s. Once the usual battles have ended we complete his routine. (Sometimes I wonder if maybe, just maybe the battles have become part of his routine.)

He cleans his teeth (battle number 1), puts his smurf sticker on his chart, (something new we’ve started to encourage him to brush his teeth). Then he goes to the toilet, (battle number 2) and washes his hands. Next it’s pj’s on (battles number 3 and 4, getting him to his room and choosing pj’s). Then we choose bedtime stories, J has the same book each and every night plus one other of his choice (battle number 5, choosing a storybook). I read his bedtime stories, it always has to be me that reads them and then put the books back on his bookshelf. Next he has to have a small drink of water and then sets his clock with his 2 little fingers and my index finger (if we do it wrong we have to start all over again!). Once his clock is set he then gives his Dad a kiss and cuddle and then Mummy gets a bedtime kiss and cuddle. Then he climbs into bed (this can sometimes be yet another battle) and his light gets switched off.

Next is my favourite time of day……………. A few months ago J was refusing to go to bed, refusing to stay in his room and to say that bedtimes were a nightmare would be an understatement! Sometimes just getting him into bed would take over an hour!  However a few months ago I started sitting with J again until he was sleepy. To start with I was sitting with him for up to 30 minutes but I’ve now got this down to approx 5 – 10 minutes.

It’s these 5-10 minutes that are my favourite time of day

my favourite time of day

Sometimes we talk, sometimes about school, sometimes about a fun thing that we have planned for the next day or week, sometimes he opens up about something that has been bothering him, not often but sometimes, sometimes we talk about completely random things, such as a computer game or a toy he’s played with and sometimes we don’t talk about anything. Sometimes I stroke his arm or his cheek, sometimes he holds my hand. Sometimes he simply lays with his head on his pillow and I watch him as his eyes become sleepy. This is our special time each and every day. This is without a doubt my favourite time of day.

 

My tags are: Growing My Family Tree, Soft Thistle, Stuff With Thing and Wonderfully Wired  Tell me What’s your favourite time of day?

 

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Showing Emotions With Baking – Wordless Wednesday

Happy and Sad by J

Joining in with Trish at My Little Drummer Boys – Wordless Wednesday

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Sun, Sea And Sand – Silent Sunday

Sun, Sea And Sand

 

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A Happy Memory – A Gallery Post

So this theme for the Gallery is A Happy Memory.

Tara over at Sticky Fingers couldn’t have picked a harder topic, when you have so many happy memories how do you choose just one, well I couldn’t but I did manage to hold back and just chose a few.

I know that I’ve used this photo in the Gallery before but I just had to use it again. I took this picture of my beautiful Nan a couple of months before she passed away. It was taken at her 80th birthday party that I had helped to organise. To me this photo represents one of the happiest memories that I have, my Nan was happy, she had a great time and was a little tipsy when I took her home and to me she hadn’t looked as happy for a very long time. I miss her everyday but when I look at this picture all I feel is happiness and love.

My next photo is quite possibly one of my happiest moments EVER!

This photo was taken when we finally got to take our little man home. We had waited so long to become Mummy and Daddy and so this photo brings back one of my happiest memories, the day we finally got to bring our baby boy home

Since J entered our lives we’ve had one happy memory after another, it’s so hard to choose between them but here’s a few favourites…………..

J presented me with breakfast in bed on Mothers Day this year, A very special happy memory

my Great Uncle B and I have always had a special relationship, I love this photo because it reminds me of the special relationships J also has with my Uncle B, it's almost like there is nobody else around

 

This was taken on our first family holiday and J's face is just pure happiness

 

 

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Wordless Wednesday – “Can We Do Art?”

 

 

 

 

Linking up with Trish at My Little Drummer Boys

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Anxiety, School And Illness

So, J began again on Sunday with “my head hurts.”  Once again he had abit of a temperature and was showing signs of tiredness for most of the day, in fact he wrapped himself in a blanket on the sofa and fell asleep at around 5:45pm ish which NEVER happens, he then went on to sleep through the night which doesn’t happen too often either. So despite the fact that he seemed much better yesterday morning I thought it best to keep him off, just in case.

Apart from a few sneezes and a little cough, nothing too unusual for J, he seemed absolutely fine. However at the very mention of school his head suddenly started to feel funny and hurt again and he also started to force small coughs. So right now we’re a little confused as to how much of his “illness” is actual sickness and how much is anxiety.

After some discussion with my hubby we’ve decided to keep him off school for the rest of the week. It’s the last week of term here before a 2 week holiday and yet again his teacher is away for whatever reason. In the last 2 weeks J has had no less than 4 different teachers, not great for a kid who needs routine and doesn’t cope well with change! Not really much point in sending him to school for a couple of days, with no idea who will be taking the class and therefore just causing him yet more anxiety issues.  We have however made a deal with him, he can stay home this week so that his cold can clear up but he has to complete a workbook everyday.

I had a very long chat with the Head of the ECDP at the school this morning to explain why he wouldn’t be at school this week. She agreed that it would probably be best for him to stay home. She also informed me that she would have to “have a chat” with the Head of Special Education because J was now in f/t prep and so basically was no longer her responsibility and I had to have a little pfft moment when she told me that would also have to inform the Principal. Ha Principal, Smincipal, I guess once again everything will be brushed under the carpet and won’t be dealt with.

I will once again be putting everything in writing and taking it along with us to J’s PLP (education plan) meeting next term. How can they think a 5 year old child whose anxieties about school are so bad that he would make himself ill just so he doesn’t have to go to school is ok? Is this really “coping”, I think not! Come on school get your act together, open your eyes and see that my poor little man needs help with his school issues, he is not coping!

We have one term left this year, 10 weeks until we’re all done and finished with the school. Ofcourse that also means we have 10 weeks to decide if we’ll actually be able to move before the next school year and to get J registered at another school………. wherever that may be!

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