So many possibilities popped into my head all at once, but for me one thing really stands out from the rest………………
After my Granddad died my Nan’s health issues became more obvious, my Nan had Altziemers and spent her last few years with us living in a nursing home. I used to visit my Nan every week and loved listening to her stories, although at times it would break my heart to see her as she was. My Nan lost her baby when he was just a teenager, my Uncle had Cystic Fibrosis, I was almost 5 when he died and at the time he was my best friend. After he died my relationship with my Grandparents grew stronger, especially with my Nan, growing up she was my best friend. However because of the Altziemers she at times didn’t remember that he and my Granddad had pasted away and so instead of putting her through all that pain again I used to tell her, “I’m sure he’ll be in touch soon, he’s abit busy at the moment” when she told me that they hadn’t been to see her for a while.
In May 2005 whilst out on one of our walks, we made daisy chains, my Nan loved daisies. I made her a crown and placed it on her head telling her that she looked beautiful and that she looked just like an angel. She then looked at me and replied “I’ll always be your angel”, as I think about that moment now it brings tears to my eyes and it means so much to me now but at the time it was just something that she had said. I often wonder if she knew what was coming over the next few weeks…………… a few days after our outing my Nan had a stroke. She fought for a couple of weeks, she fought really hard but living was just too hard, so we told her “it’s ok you can go, we’ll be ok” and she slowly slipped away from us. I was a broken person, I couldn’t function, my world had ended and a part of me had died with her.
Then a couple of months after she had left us I discovered I was pregnant. I had previously had 4 miscarriages so was very cautious about telling people but this time it felt different, it was like something was telling me it’ll be ok. We had a few scary moments and I had a fairly difficult pregnancy but 9 months after we’d said goodbye to my Nan a new love entered our lives………… J x
I can’t put into words the love I felt the first time I saw and held my baby, he was (and is) the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. He’s an amazing little boy who is beautiful on the inside and the outside, he is someone who has shown me just how great love can be and someone who has taught me so much. I feel so lucky that my Nan was my angel and sent me this gorgeous little man who has blessed us in so many ways. J has always had a special relationship with my Nan despite the fact that they never got to meet, he calls her his special Nanny and has been seen talking to her and before leaving the UK loved taking flowers to her grave and talking to her there. He’s also, at times, alot like my Nan.
Thankyou Nan for always being my angel and for watching over J and thankyou for sending me the greatest love I’ve ever known. xx
Now please pop over to Sticky Fingers to see some other lovely photos, after leaving a comment of course………….. go on show me the love :)