A Time For Giving – A Giveaway For Your Bag

For those of you who are regular readers you will probably know that I started a jewellery making class at my local children’s centre before I left the UK earlier this year. We learnt how to make a variety of things including phone charms, bracelets, necklaces and earrings but my favourite thing are bag charms.  I’ve made them for myself, family and friends and I’ve had some very positive feedback I’m thinking of trying to sell a few along with some of the other pieces of jewellery I’ve made, (A few examples).

I think they brighten any bag up and are a great accessory, it’s important to accessorize right…..?

I’ve decided since Christmas is fast approaching (sorry but it is) and it’s the season of goodwill, a time for giving and all that, what better time could there be for giving. So I have 3 bag charms to giveaway, all handmade by me.

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment below

A bonus entry is also available for tweeting this, remember to let me know in your comment that you’ve tweeted

Closing date is December 14th 2010 at midnight (Brisbane time)

Winners will be drawn on December 15th 2010

All comments and tweets will be numbered and the 3 winners will be drawn randomly the old fashioned way, I’ll get J to pull 3 out of a hat

Good luck

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The Perfect Gift!

Ok I’m not talking about Christmas here……….. although it would have been an excellent Christmas Present too!   It’s my lovely husband’s birthday this week and for something a little bit different I booked him a skydive!

He’s wanted to go skydiving for a few years but has never actually got around to doing it so I thought I’d surprise him.  It was quite expensive but more than worth the money, it was just about the most perfect gift I could have given him.  We had to leave the house at 7.30am and I was panicking that J would not want to play ball this morning but he was in a great mood and was very excited ….. he was going to watch Daddy flying in the sky with a parachute, in his eyes it’s just like base jumping!  (Have I mentioned before that J has a “thing” about base jumping. He keeps climbing on things and jumping off, pretending to open a parachute and then when asked what he’s doing he replies “base jumping duh!”)

We arrived at the office and sorted all the paperwork out and then left hubby there with his instructor. We went off to the playground just over the road and a 5 minute walk from the beach where hubby would land. Unfortunately J’s morning was spoilt by some 17/18 yr olds who were playing tag on the kids play equipment so J didn’t really get to play much in the playground. Before his mood turned too sour I suggested we go down to the beach, where we could play and search for crabs whilst we waited for Daddy to land. He thought this was a great idea!   When we arrived at the beach there were thousands of tiny crabs on the beach, can you imagine how excited J was!!!!

As for hubby, well he said it was the best present I’ve ever given him and he’s now looking at when he can book his next jump but now he wants to go solo!…….. mmmmmmmmm well I did tell him a few months ago that he needed to get a hobby!

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So What Happens Then?

On Wednesday one of J’s Therapists from Disability Qld came to do some work with him at home. Unfortunately J wasn’t playing ball and decided that he’d much rather be playing on Sonic than with food. LOL  We gave up after about 1/2 hour and I let him go play Sonic whilst I chatted with his OT. We chatted about some things that I could do with J at home, some of these things would require some specialist equipment. Lucky for us she has started the ball rolling to maybe get some funding for the equipment, now we just have to keep our fingers crossed that we get the funding because some of the equipment is quite expensive.

Whilst chatting she also mentioned that they would be working with J and supporting all of us until he is 6 years old, after that Education Qld will support him through his schooling.

Ok I know that’s 2 years away yet but I’m worrying already.  Around the same time our Helping Children With Autism package will also finish, so any therapy and equipment is then going to have to be paid for by us and ofcourse the support we are receiving also ends. I know we’re lucky, we have a diagnosis, we’re getting help via the Autism package and Disability Qld and I don’t want to sound ungrateful because trust me we are, we’re so grateful you wouldn’t believe but what happens then? Why is it when he’s 6 all the funding, help and support runs out? Do we suddenly not need any help and support then? Does J suddenly, at that age no longer need and OT, Child Psychologist and Speech Therapist? Is there some sort of miracle that happens at that age?

I know it’s still around 18 months away but what is going to happen then? Coming from the UK we’re still trying to get used to how things work here in Oz so I’m asking for help. Any parents with ASD children who have reached 6/7 yrs of age can you tell me is there any support that can be accessed? Please help!

In the meantime we’ll keep collecting the equipment, (not sure where we’re going to keep it all though), watching the therapists and improving our own therapy skills so that we can continue doing some of his therapy ourselves at home.

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Finally Some Progress!

This morning we had another trip to Prep arranged and as usual it started as it always does with “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO PREP!” and “I HATE IT!”.  Yep just the usual, I tried to ignore it as I had already prepared myself for this.

When we arrived at the school I decided to show him the Tuck Shop and thought it would be nice for him to buy his own school shirt. He quite happily let me buy him a school shirt and then told me, (once again), “I’m not wearing it though.” – Progress though right? He let me buy the shirt

Then we went across to reception to let them know we had arrived and then Oh Boy did we arrive!! J started with the kicking and trying to escape whilst we were in Reception. The Head of Special Education spotted us and took us across to the Early Intervention Centre and then we went from into the Prep area. Whilst in the playground at the EI centre J was really going for it, ok not a huge meltdown but bad enough and his EI teachers were really surprised, they hadn’t seen the J that likes to kick everything and everyone before, he’s usually so well behaved when he’s there.

Anyhow, we arrived at the Prep area where we met J’s soon to be teacher, who seems very nice, and the advisory teacher, Miss S, whom I met with last week. J simply continued with his wanting to escape and kicking, so I started thinking “yep this is going to be a complete disaster again“…….. I tried to get him interested in using his camera, using my camera and some of the things in the room, no joy.  Then Miss S took out some secret weapons, she had brought with her a couple of sensory toys, one of which was a large squidgy frog which he loved! However he could only hold/play with the frog if he was standing, (he refused to sit on a chair because they were dirty! LOL), nicely and listening to his teacher.  He tried to escape but was reminded by Miss S that if he ran around being silly he would have to put the frog away…….. it worked…….. he listened!! mmmmmm never usually works for us!

When the register was done all of the prep children said good morning, then his teacher said good morning to J and although he yelled it at her, he replied with “MORNING!” and a scowl.  Progress right?

Then the children went outside to play and although he wasn’t overly happy and had one or 2 issues – the slide was dirty, he couldn’t make his body climb the way he wanted to go and so on…. – he actually played in the Prep area!!!  HUGE PROGRESS  right?

We actually managed a trip to prep that lasted more than 10 minutes and he played!!!  WHOOP WHOOP!!  We were thinking of taking him over to the computer block but as he was starting to look like he’d had enough we decided to end on a high and so left.

Then this afternoon whilst he was at EI, his teachers took the children over to the prep area to play at recess and he was ok! In fact his EI teacher spend a little while talking to me about their little trip and I was informed that he even said hello to his new teacher.  Huge Huge Progress right?

He’ll be going on another trip tomorrow whilst at EI and again next week so I guess we’ll see how he gets on. I hope that saying hello to his new teacher means that kind of likes her, (very important). I know it will be very different for him when he actually starts prep, on his little trips with his EI teachers it was just the 6 kids in his class playing, he copes ok in small groups but when he starts prep it’s going to be a very busy, (sensory overloading and lots of change), classroom and playground.  So I’m still panicking about January but I finally feel that we’ve made some progress today!

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What Are You Thankful For?

It’ Thanksgiving in the USA today, so if you’re American and reading this Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is the perfect time to think about what you’re thankful for and I have so, so much to be thankful for………..

I’m thankful that I have a roof over my head, and my family’s, food to eat everyday, a bed to sleep in, somewhere to wash and clothes to wear and clean water to drink.

I’m thankful that I have people in my life that care about me.

I’m thankful that I’m a Mum, it’s something that I never thought would happen but always hoped would.

I’m thankful that I have a beautiful, special son who gives me reasons to smile everyday.

I’m thankful for all the lessons my son gives me everyday

I’m thankful that I have a supportive and loving husband, I can be a nightmare to live with sometimes but he’s always there.

I’m thankful that I had the best Grandparents ever and I’m thankful for the love they gave me and the lessons that they taught me.

I’m thankful that I get to see my son’s beautiful eyes and the blue sky and green grass everyday and that I get to hear my son’s beautiful voice and birds singing everyday.

I’m thankful that I have some of the best friends a girl could ask for

I’m thankful that I have a computer, it makes it so easy to keep in touch with those that matter.

Most of all I’m just thankful that I’m here and I get to live the life that I’m living with my lovely husband and my wonderful son

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“I Just Want To Be Normal”

Last week this is what J told his Dad whilst they were playing.

We explained a couple of months ago to J that he has something called Aspergers which sometimes people call Autism. He’d heard us talking and he is aware that he’s a little bit different to some other children and started asking questions. So we thought we’d try explaining things to him ……… a little afterall he’s only 4.5 years old, (“I’m nearly 5″ I can hear him saying! LOL), so we didn’t want to overload him with information that he doesn’t need to know just yet. We’ve tried explaining that everyone is different, some people look different and some people are just wired differently, (that was an interesting chat, he pointed out that we don’t have wires in our brains LOL), so they think differently or act a little different to other people.

Anyway, I had a mixture of feelings as I listened to J and his Dad, I was enjoying watching them play when J quite randomly, (as he does quite often) changed the subject and said to his Dad, “I don’t want Aspergers anymore Dad, I just want to be normal!” My initial reaction was heartbreak. Then as I listened to more of the conversation I felt extremely proud of my hubby as he tried explaining to J that no-one is normal and that everyone is different and has different abilities and weaknesses. J responded with “I don’t want to be different anymore!” Bless him, cue tears prickling my eyes. Dad then went on to explain once again how everyone was different and he was perfect just the way he is……..

J then came back with “But I just want to be normal, I don’t want to be different ‘cus I keep having sillies, (tantrums and meltdowns) and then I lose things”  AHA! So this was a reaction to the new rules in our house, when J is aggressive and hurts someone he goes straight to a red traffic light and loses one of his “privileges” (such as computer games, tv and so on), when he has a tantrum for whatever reason and shouts and screams at us, (and others) in a negative way he goes to amber and gets a warning that he has to try to change his behaviour. It’s taken alot of effort from all of us, our days would be forever peaceful if we just gave in or let him play on the computer all the time, wouldn’t they? And they’ve meant alot of new changes for J.  Anyway with the new knowledge that we had hubby took a slightly different approach explaining once again that everyone was different but we had to work really hard at the things we were each good at and extra hard at improving some of the things we weren’t so good at so that we didn’t lose things and instead got extra rewards.  They spent a little while longer chatting about it until finally J changed the subject again, I think some of what hubby was saying to him went in….. I hope so.

 

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It’s That Time Of The Year

Yes it really is, Christmas is approaching fast and I’ve started reminiscing about previous Christmases.

Last Christmas was cold, unbearably cold……… the new heating system packed up and then the idiot Plumber who installed it informed us he’d look at in the new year, nice guy hey? The chimney then developed a problem, the house filled with smoke whenever the fire was lit so we were left with no heating. I then developed a lung infection, (I’m asthmatic so wasn’t too healthy) and we had a silly fallout with my cousin and her husband, something that I wish hadn’t happened  So it would have been a pretty rotten Christmas had it not been for the excited 3 1/2 year old that came bouncing onto our bed with his stocking at 6am, the huge smile he had when he opened his presents and the hug I got because he’d got the right presents! lol  Another high from the end of last year was the time I spent with my “special ladies” (that’s what J called them, because………. they are), we organised a Christmas Bazaar, which was a big success and I had my last night out with them all I miss my Special Ladies.

Christmas 2008 was fantastic, it was the first Christmas that J understood the whole Santa bringing presents thing.  He was soooo excited, it was alot of fun watching him get more and more excited as the big day approached and then it overspilled Christmas morning when he found his stocking

My last Christmas before J was born was spent very pregnant, (I was 5 months but was huge), and in lots of pain, all more than worth it ofcourse   My last Christmas pre J was also my last Christmas with my Nan. The look on my Nan’s face when she opened her gift is a memory that I will cherish forever. We gave her a small teddy bear that played “we wish you a merry Christmas,” she loved it so much she wouldn’t put it down! I hoped that we helped to make her last Christmas a happy one.

As a child my Nan always made Christmas special. It was the one day I knew I wouldn’t get hit, the one day of the year when happy memories were created. I’d make jam tarts, sausage rolls and cheesy fingers with my Nan, I loved baking with her. My Grandad used to get a sweet hamper every year, he’d keep it under the TV and when we went to visit or stayed overnight, (which is something I was lucky enough to do often), we got to choose something out of the box. Christmas Day Nan and Grandad would always spend most of the day with us either at our house or theirs. It was always fun, the best day of the year, I guess that’s why I love Christmas so much and always try to make it special for J. I’ll miss my Nan and Grandad always, my Nan especially. I guess it’s the time of year when old memories start to resurface, the empty space inside grows that little bit bigger and the feelings that I felt the day that they each said goodbye once again become so clear. Slowly the memories of Christmas past and the new memories that we make with J begin to fill that empty space until all the pain and the feelings of loss start to fade into the background, for a while anyway. I’ll never forget those feelings but I’ll also never forget how lucky I am to have my happy memories and to be able to make new happy memories.

I hope this year we create a few happy memories for J so that as he grows older he too will have happy times to reminis about. xxx

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Thanks For Asking!

I wasn’t going to write anything today but I spoke with my Great Uncle on the phone today and …… well I just want to go give him a big hug but since he’s in the UK I obviously can’t.  He’s in his 80′s and doesn’t “do” computers so I don’t know if he’ll ever see this post, who knows maybe another family member will and will read it to him………… maybe.

My Uncle B is a no nonsense type of person and to be honest despite the fact that he’s absolutely brilliant with all his great nephews and nieces, (J thinks he’s great), and I get on very well with him, (I have alot of love and respect for him), he was one of the family members that I had expected to not “get” J’s ASD diagnosis.

Tonight whilst chatting on the phone he took a real interest in J and Aspergers, he asked me various questions and listened to me explaining some of the difficulties J has because Aspergers. He asked me if there was anything they could do to help him, you see it’s all in the wording, he didn’t ask “what can they do to cure him”. In fact most of our telephone conversation, (about 40 mins), was about J and Aspergers.

So I just wanted to say thanks for asking Uncle B and thanks for taking an interest and thanks for listening, I mean really listening, it meant alot to all of us.

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Who Would Have Thought It?

Today has been absolutely brilliant!  Better than brilliant!  It’s been the best! ……………… until bedtime arrived that is!

We went to along to our Playconnect group this morning and for the first time ever J didn’t attack anyone or throw any chairs or toys at anyone. In fact he shared the Cheerios that a couple of the other children and himself were using to make necklaces with, they were really enjoying eating them rather than making necklaces. LOL  He played nicely amongst the other children in the small group whilst they were outside. He joined in nicely whilst playing ring a roses. He even sat at the table for morning tea and ate a packet of crisps, (ok I know not exactly a good snack but he sat at the table and with other kids!).  We had no meltdowns at all!

Then this afternoon, as usual he was on his best behaviour at school, (EI). When I picked him up I had no “sillies” on the way home even though it was my turn to choose which way we went home and the car was hot, 2 things that usually always lead to a meltdown.

Once home he got to play on his game for an hour, we used his clock so he knew when it was time to turn it off.  Once again he surprised me, he turned his game off without even the slightest tantrum let alone meltdown!

J even tried scrambled egg tonight for tea, he didn’t like it, as soon as it was in his mouth he spat it back out but he tried it!

The reason for all his good nice wonderful behaviour…….. our new chart, yes that’s right another one.  With this one everytime J does something nice or good, (like using his manners, playing nicely with others, taking it in turns, listening to and doing what is asked and so on), he gets a smiley face. Once he has 5 smiley faces he gets the reward that he has chosen. With this chart he can earn his rewards very quickly and today earned 3 rewards!

I had a meeting with a very helpful Advisory Teacher at J’s school yesterday and this was her idea, she thought it might work as it has for a great deal of other ASD children.  Boy was she right!

Last night I sat down and created the chart above, we used smiley faces rather than stars because he loves smiley faces. Who would have thought something this simple would make such a huge difference?

Of course after the day bedtime arrives along with the usual battles again. Tonight he was worse than usual and had a huge meltdown lasting around 45 minutes because he couldn’t decide which story he wanted!!!

AARRGGHHHHH!

Can’t have everything I suppose

 

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Bedtime Battles!

Why does bedtime have to be such a series of battles?

J has always been the type of kid that likes to play fun and games at bedtime. He’ll come out with excuse after excuse – he needs a drink, he’s cold, he’s hot, he heard a sound, saw a shadow and so on …….  However over the last month bedtimes have started to become a battleground. As well as the usual excuses he’s been having “moments” and meltdowns, which ofcourse have involved kicking, screaming and even more excuses, – he’s not sleepy, I’m being horrible to him because I’m making him go to sleep and he can’t sleep! he needs his special doggy and can’t find it, when it’s in his hand.

Apart from the usual excuses he’s not usually been too bad about going to bed, staying in bed has always been his problem, waking 2-3 times a night and then waking extra early every morning. When he was younger we couldn’t get him to bed much before 9pm, then when he was just over 2 years old we decided that it had to stop and we had to get him to go to bed earlier, so we started bringing bedtime forward 5 minutes every few days until finally bedtime was 7pm.

6:45pm arrives and J gets a 15 minute warning, then a 10 minute and 5 minute warning. 7pm arrives and J begins his bedtime routine, saying goodnight to Daddy, going to the toilet and so on. The first game is usually finding special doggy or skanky blankie, either one usually vanishes just as bedtime arrives and is then found hiding. Once his pj’s are on then the battles really begin, starting with a bedtime story, we’re trying something new tonight we’ve already decided our stories and have put them by his bed so fingers crossed that will be one less battle that we have tonight.

Anyway after the 1st battle has begun it’s just one after another – I’ve read the story wrong, I’m making him hot and so on. These battles are lasting for around an hour and they’re so exhausting. By 8pm I’m shattered, I’ve been up for around 14 hrs after having around 3-4 hrs sleep and I end up sitting with him to calm him down, (after yet another meltdown because he’s lost his computer games due to his behaviour, so you just know the next morning is going to be even more fun and games!).  I know I shouldn’t sit with him because he’ll soon be wanting me to do it every night but there is no other way of calming him down and he’s not the type of child who would scream himself to sleep, he’d just carry on screaming all night, (he’s done that before until I gave in after 3 and abit hours!).  I know he’s tired when he goes to bed, in fact he’s probably over tired and that’s probably not helping. What I don’t understand is why he’s suddenly decided that he needs to have these battles.

His behaviour (in particular his aggression) has also gradually gotten worse over the past month or so. His pediatrician has prescribed medication to help calm him and some of his anxieties, we’ve been told to mix it with his food, how exactly are we supposed to mix it with bread and cheese???

I’m sure these new battles are somehow connected to his gradual rise in aggressive behaviour and he has to go see a child psychologist in a couple of weeks because of it, who knows it might help…… right?

In the meantime anyone got any other ideas?  What can we do to ease some of these battles?

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