Stop and Think Before You Stare!

Over the past couple of months J has started shouting everything, it doesn’t matter what he wants to say he’s, (quite randomly, but getting more regularly) had to shout it! Thankfully the yelling has been mostly directed at us but he has occasionally directed it at strangers and other people that we know, however the yelling, like the random behaviour “issues”, aren’t confined to the house, in fact it gets worse when we’re out.  As if the looks from strangers, (because of his behaviour at times), wasn’t enough, people are now staring because of the yelling too!  I suppose all they see is a small child being allowed to behave in that way and to yell at his parent(s). They don’t see that it doesn’t matter what we say or do, it won’t change what he does, they don’t see the chats we have about the need to sometimes talk quietly and how we should try to be nice to people. They don’t see that he’s not yelling or behaving in that way because he’s being rude, spoilt, disrespectful or because he’s having a tantrum, it’s just part of who he is………….So come on people wake up and realise that there might be a much bigger picture than what you’re seeing!!!!

The disapproving looks, comments and stares directed at us are starting to make us feel anxious about going out before we even leave the house. We know that at some point whilst we’re out we’re going to have to cope with an “explosion” or 2 of some kind, that’s not what makes us anxious, at the end of the day it’s going to happen whether we’re out or at home,  we’re getting used to it now and we deal with it whatever way we can. What makes us anxious and at time really cross is the reactions from other people, strangers who know nothing about us, our son or our situation!

I wish people would stop and think about the effect that their reaction has on all of us. J gets really frustrated and angry because he doesn’t like people staring at him, so this just adds fuel to the behaviour.  As for us, well thanks, you make us feel like we’re bad parents who should be doing more to “control” their son’s behaviour,  Oh no, wait, there’s nothing more we can do, we’ve tried everything and failed ……. we’re failures.

Please next time you’re out and about and you see what you think is a child having a tantrum, please stop before you stare, comment or give a disapproving look. Think about it maybe the behaviour of the child and the parent’s reaction is part of a much bigger picture. Remember your stares, looks and comments will only make the situation worse and if you really must comment, how about words of support???

Stop and think before you stare or comment!

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Everyday I …….

Here’s a few things that I do each and every day………..

Everyday I ………

Wake up, usually very early, (J usually gets me up between 6 and 6.30am everyday), and it’s usually around the 3rd time I’ve been woken up too!

Drink coffee, I can’t do anything in the morning until I’ve had a coffee ….. or 2! lol  J calls it my “wake up drink”.

Wash, brush teeth, get dressed etc etc ………….. Who doesn’t?

Hug J because there’s no better way to start the day. ((x))

Have breakfast with J, this is the only meal that he eats everyday and it’s nice to sit and chat about what we’re going to do each day.

Housework – boring I know but it has to be done, the clean up fairy and the chef never turn up for work so it’s me that gets everything done.

Check my email …… and everything else online – very important!!!

Play, most of my day is spent playing whatever J’s new obsession is, at the moment everything becomes a computer game, complete with levels, stages, lands etc………

Give J another hug, just because I can! I keep reminding myself that he’s growing up so quickly and soon won’t want hugs from me all the time, so I’ve got to get them now while I can!

Pick toys up – usually after we’ve played and hopefully before I’ve stepped on them.

Swear! I very rarely swear but, let’s face it, it’s bound to happen at some point during the day, (usually towards the end of the day when the tiredness is creeping in).

Read something, anything, I love reading.

Give Hubby a hug and ask him how his day has been……… just because.

Watch abit of television – Ok I admit it, I’m a telly addict! lol

Read a bedtime story to J, sometimes we read 2 or 3, it’s part of J’s routine and it’s also one of my favourite times of the day. It’s “special time”.

Hug J again – Goodnight hug.

And of course the most important thing that I do everyday …………. Tell J that I love him. xxxxx

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It’s Election Time

It’s election time here at the moment and I’m already fed up with the adverts, interviews, speeches and so on. It all seems to be turning into a “don’t vote for them because……” campaign from both of the 2 main parties rather than “vote for me because” and to be quite honest I’m actually quite pleased that we’re not eligible to vote at the moment.

I just wouldn’t know who to vote for. On one side you have someone along with the rest of the party, pretty much stabbed their previous leader in the back, so I ask myself, if they’ll do that to him could I really trust them to run the country without stabbing its people in the back too? On the other side you have someone who, in my opinion, has a look about him that screams “Don’t trust me!”, and he’s even admitted that not everything he says is true!

It just seems to have gotten very much “he said, she said”, and there’s another 4 weeks before the big day. I’m sure that there are others you can vote for but I’ve not really heard from them, all I know is, if I were able to vote I wouldn’t be voting for either of the 2 main parties.

I was going to stay clear of politics but it’s all driving me mad and I really am fed up with seeing the adverts etc everywhere, maybe the money they’ve spent on those could have been put to better use……….  Ok, that’s it, sorry for having a rant. Please feel free to vote for whoever you want to, let’s just hope whoever wins does a better job at running the country than they have done running their ad campaigns.

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Who Is Your Best Friend and Why? – A Plinky Prompt

I recently discovered Plinky Prompts. It’s a great idea and very simple, basically every week there are new prompts put on there, so if you get abit stuck and need something to write about you can go on there and answer one of there prompts.

I found this question on there yesterday and thought I’d give it a go – it’s an easy one LOL

Who is your best friend and why?

Well if I’d been asked this 5 years ago I would have said my Nan without any hesitation at all. I had more love and respect for her than anyone else in my life at the time. My Nan made me smile everytime I saw her, I could trust her with anything, she was always there for me, I could talk to her and I could ask her anything and I would know that I would get an honest answer, it wasn’t always the answer that I wanted but it was honest! In the last 7 years of her life my Nan had Alzheimers and so didn’t recognise alot of people, didn’t remember very much and quite often spoke alot of nonsense. However, we still talked and laughed, (we laughed alot!), and 95 % of the time she recognised me and I could actually see the love in her eyes when she looked at me.

My Nan was my best friend

5 Years ago my best friend left this world and I was left with a position vacant.

I have a few friends who are amongst my best friends, people who I trust and care about, people I can talk to and people who make me laugh. Firstly Hubby, we’ve been together for almost half my life and I know that I can always rely on him when I need someone. He’s always been very supportive and he’s also one of a very small collection of people who can make me laugh even when I’m cross with them.

There’s S, who I met at college. We’re from very different backgrounds but something just clicked when we met. She’s been with me through alot of highs and lows that have happened in my life and she’s also J’s godmother.

There’s F, who I also met at college, (different course), but then we lost contact with each other. Then when J was a few months old we went to the seaside for the day and simply bumped into each other. By an amazing coincidence she had her 2nd baby just 2 days after J was born!!  F is very easy to talk to and always gives an honest answer.

There’s my cousin S and her husband P. We’re very alike and sometimes clash but I care about them alot and have alot of respect for them.

Over the past 18 months I’ve also met D, K, Mummymatters and Supersinglemum, who have also joined my group of “best friends”. They’re very easy to talk to, great listeners, supportive and oh how we’ve laughed!  Supersinglemum in particular is one of the best friends a girl could ask for x.

However when I think about the question, “who is your best friend and why?” one name comes into my mind immediately, J! We talk, we play, he gives the best cuddles, he can make me cry, he’s very honest, (sometimes too honest! lol), he makes me laugh and he teaches me something new everyday. When he looks at me I can see the love in his eyes and I hope he too can see the love in my eyes when I look at him.

So there you have it, position filled, J is my best friend. xxxxx

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Aussie World

We’ve had a family day today. We’ve decided that once a month we’ll have a family day and will spend the whole day doing something fun together, even if it’s simply playing in the garden. No interruptions, just us for the whole day.

Today we decided to take J to Aussie World  for a fun day out,  although we were a bit cautious taking him to a theme park after the disaster that we had at Dreamworld. However, Aussie World is alot smaller and there are a few more rides for him to enjoy, as well as crazy golf and sideshow alley. It’s only a short drive away and we have been before, so off we went.

We had a great time! J went on all but 5 rides, we had 2 rounds of crazy golf and J even won a couple of prizes in the sideshow alley. 

We smiled every minute that we were there, it was one of the best days out that we’ve ever had, (that didn’t include animals! lol).  

We left early, we didn’t want to push our luck and we’d done almost everything on offer there.

When we arrived home J, Hubby and I  cut the grass, played in the garden and then played together inside for the rest of the day. 

Overall a fantastic day enjoyed by all ………….  now where am I going to put those new toys??????

What about you, do any of you have a family day or night?

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What Would You Change?

A friend recently asked me if I could turn back time would I still return to England, just to return to Australia 18 months later. It’s a good question and it got me thinking, if I could go back in time, just once, to change something, anything at all, would I?                                      

Would I go back and tell someone about the bullying at home?  I’m very surprised to say no because it highlighted to me how much my Nan cared about me and believed in me and I’m an emotionally strong person because of it.  Although I have always told J that if anyone ever hurts him or makes him sad he should always tell Mummy or Daddy and that grownups hurting kids is wrong.

Would I go back and not get pregnant at such a young age (18) ? Well despite everything we went through when I miscarried I wouldn’t change this either because I now feel luckier than ever to have J and I see him as extra special.

Would I have still gotten married so young? This is an easy one, yes. We’re still happily married now so it was obviously a good choice.

Would I have gone into a different line of work? Nope, wouldn’t change this either. Childcare isn’t the best paid career but working with children makes everyday different….. and it’s fun!

Would I change some of the silly fall outs I’ve had with some friends and family members? This one took some thinking about, I do regret some of the arguments and it makes me sad to think about how sour some of the relationships have gone. However we all have a right to our own opinion and so what will be, will be.

Would I still meet my Dad and family?  This is another easy one. I’ve loved getting to know my Dad and brothers and my Step-Mum, (she’ll hate me for calling her that, Sorry T!) is fantastic, as is her Mum. J feels very lucky too because he has 4 Nannies and of course Special Nanny. So no I definitely wouldn’t change this.

There are lots of things that I could change and some people think I probably should have done differently or not at all. That takes me back to the original question, Would I still go back to England? I have some regrets that we went back to the UK, just to return here 18 months later, financially it hurt, it did put a strain on us as a family, but we got through it and all the change has had an effect on J and his behaviour. However if we hadn’t gone back I wouldn’t have met my wonderful friends Supersinglemum , Mummy Matters, D and K. I wouldn’t have learnt what I did on the courses run by my local Children’s Centre. I wouldn’t have learnt what I did about myself and some others. I wouldn’t have met my nephew and I wouldn’t know where I wanted us all to be. Therefore I wouldn’t change that.

I think there’s various things that I could make minor adjustments to but really I guess I wouldn’t change anything. Everything happens for a reason and I am who I am today because of the things that have happened in my life and the choices that I’ve made.

 What about you, if you could go back in time just once to change something would you?

I was going to tag some people in this but I’m going to leave it open to everyone, go on have a think about it.

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5 Things I Love About Australia

We’ve now been living in Australia for 4 and a half months and I’ve been feeling a little homesick so I thought I’d remind myself of some of the reasons we came back here. Here’s my list of 5 things I love about Australia.

1. The Animals – I’m in love with Wombats! They’re very cute and they remind me of teddy bears. I can’t wait to have a wombat experience at the zoo. As for Koalas, any animal that can get away with sleeping for most of the day earns my respect…… and they’re pretty cute too. Most of all I love watching J’s face light up when he feeds the Kangaroos at the zoo.

2. The Scenery – It still amazes me. As we drive down to the local shopping centre we have a gorgeous view of the mountain ranges and the forestry right there in front of us. When we drive up to the lookout point the view is amazing. One word can describe it …..  WOW!

3. The Weather – We’re living in Queensland, the sunshine state. It lives up to it’s name, it’s sunny and warm most days. It’s fab and I love that it’s winter here but the temperature has been hovering between 18 and 23 degrees during the day, especially since we had such a cold winter in England! I love the sunshine and the warm weather.

4. The Beaches – Australia has some beautiful beaches and we are lucky enough to live close to several. I’ve never seen such beautiful, clean, white sandy beaches. I can’t wait to travel a little further and discover more of Australia’s gorgeous beaches.

5. Tim Tams! – For people that don’t know me….. Hi my names J and I’m a chocaholic! lol     I love chocolate and I addicted to Tim Tams. I loved Penguins in the UK but there’s nothing better in evening than sitting with a cup of hot milk and having a Tim Tam to dip in it. mmmmmmmmmmmmm  yum!

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The Beach

J and I went to the beach again today for the second time this week and we had a fantastic time building sandcastles, digging holes, burying each others feet and legs and splashing in the ocean.

I wasn’t sure if I should take him, we’ve both had colds, it’s the middle of winter here at the moment and at 21ish degrees it’s actually felt quite chilly!  I know, I know, back in England that would have been a warm summers day but when we first arrived back in Australia it was around 28 degrees and since we’re now feeling chilly at 21 degrees I think it’s safe to say we’ve acclimatized.

Anyway, the sky was a perfect blue and there was almost no breeze so I decided to pack our bag, put on some shorts –  Yes shorts! and some sunscreen – very important – and off we went.

We had a great time! It’s been a few weeks since we last went on a trip to the beach and I’d forgotten how much fun it is to run barefoot on the sand, create sand creatures and castles and to jump waves in the ocean.  

We are lucky enough to live a short distance from several beautiful beaches so we’re going  to make the most of them and we can’t wait for our next trip.

What better place is there to learn about some of Nature’s beauty.

 

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Starting School!!!

I’ve just done what just about every parent finds exciting and but also dreads, I’ve registered J at the local school!   It’s really exciting because it’s going to be a whole new chapter of his life and he’s growing up but this is also one of the reasons I dread it. He is growing up ….. fast ………. too fast and I dread this. Obviously I want him to grow and learn etc etc but he’s my baby, he’ll always be my baby and I wander how our relationship will change once he’s at school. I love his cuddles but I wander how long it will be before he’s too big to hug his Mum in front of everyone and I love being number one in his life and I’ll always hope that this will never change, until he has children of his own of course. Most of all I love it that he’s my baby and he relies on Mummy still for so much, but as the time is approaching for him to start school I can see that will change so quickly once he’s a big boy at school, he’s already started pointing out to me that he’s not a baby and he can do it!  I know he’s going to grow up and it’s so exciting watching him grow but I just wish each stage lasted a little longer.

The other reason I’m dreading it is because of his behaviour. I know we’re seeing someone about it now and the school seemed very welcoming and understanding and so on but I’ve worked with children for long enough to know it won’t take long after his first “moment” for teachers, parents and other children to start labeling him as “naughty”. He’s not naughty, he just has issues that are being dealt with. I’m worried that this could happen and I’m very aware that labels like that can stick for an entire school life, which is something that we don’t want. He’s a good kid and we’re very proud of him!

So now I’ve filled the application forms out and handed them back in I’m worrying, have I picked the right school?  Will they be able to deal with him and his “moments” appropriately?  Will he get the education he deserves? (He’s a very smart kid)  I know alot of parents must ask themselves the same questions and everyone deals with things their own way. I personally am thinking of writing a list of questions to ask when we go for our interview at the school next month, maybe then I’ll be able to relax a little more about the whole thing.  

I know one thing for certain, there will be tears when I leave him for his first day in January, (mostly from me! lol), but until then I’m going to enjoy every moment with him………. and obviously continue to do so once he’s started this new and exciting stage in his life.

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101 Things In 1001 Days – Update Number 2

For those of you that have read my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge I thought I’d give you another update. I’ve been steadily working on my list and here’s what else I’ve accomplished.

12. Take up new craft hobby -  Before leaving the UK I completed a few sessions of a jewellery making course. I really enjoyed the course and since arriving in Australia I’ve made quite a few pieces, (Look What I’ve Made). I find a great deal of enjoyment creating each piece and seeing the end product.

23. Have a family day out at Dreamworld -  Less said the better on this one. Those of you that have read my post A Disastrous Day Out will understand.

26. Take J for his 1st animal experience at Australia Zoo -  This was an amazing experience for the both of us, he had great fun and was full of information about the Giant Tortoises that he had met. As for me, I was really nervous allowing him to go into the enclosure without me, his behaviour can be so random, but it was wonderful watching him interact with the enormous creatures. You can read more about it on my post J’s First Encounter

45. Spend more time in the garden – Well thanks to the beautiful Queensland weather we’ve been able to get outside most days. We’ve had great fun playing in the garden, entertaining and of course having a barbie!

55. Read the Twilight saga books -  Done, Loved them, Well written, Completely addicted. Not really much more I can say about them!

56. Watch the Twilight saga films -  Again done, Loved them and now I can’t wait for the Breaking Dawn films to be released.

66. Watch the news everyday – Well since arriving in Australia we’ve watched the news everyday and since it’s now become part of our daily routine we’re going to continue to do so.

70. Sort out my internet connection -  I’m now back online, I’ve really missed my computer and being online.  Being online means that staying in touch with family and friends is so much easier and J finds it easier to chat with people via the webcam rather than the good old telephone. And of course it also means that I can update my blog more often!

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