How Can I Ease The Guilt?????

J started playgroup last week. His first day went really well, he was excited to be going, enjoyed playing with the other children and loved the toys they had there, especially the outdoor play equipment. The only “down” moment was, he had to have a nap, because that’s what the children do here. When I spoke to the staff at the playgroup about it I was informed that alot of schools in Queensland also encourage the younger children to had a small nap after lunch also. J hasn’t had a daytime nap for about 2 years and he was quite upset about this.   

The second session arrived and so did the tears! He was reluctant to go and we had a good amount of screaming. I made a point of telling his “teachers” that he wasn’t to have a nap and promised to pick him up early but he was very upset when I left him and guilt began to creep in.   “Why am I leaving him somewhere he quite clearly doesn’t want to be?”  He’s due to start prep in January and that will be 5 days a week without me, so I thought it would be a good idea to start him in playgroup 2 days a week so that he could make friends, have fun and have abit of time away from Mummy. He’s had alot of change lately, (J doesn’t cope too well with change), and he has gotten a little clingy again.

This week we have once again had screaming, lots of tears and  “I don’t want to go”, “I  don’t want to leave you”, “I’m scared” etc  etc.   All of which is not helping the guilt. I feel so bad leaving him there but I know it’s for his own good. When January comes he won’t have a choice, he has to go to school and I’d rather go through this with him now instead of then.

I’m worried that he may not adjust and settle because that’s just how J can be sometimes, but then how do I help him to adjust to going to school?

I know its early days and only time will tell if he’s going to be ok with me leaving him with other people, I hope he will adjust.  In the meantime how can I help to assure him that it will be ok and that he can have fun without Mummy  and how do I ease the guilt I’ve been feeling about leaving him etc….

All ideas/ comments welcome.

Read Full Post »

All Is Not Lost!

Like many of you I’m shocked at some of the language and behaviour of some teen and preteens these days. I can remember my Mum, Nan and their friends saying the same thing about my generation but I can honestly never recall being even half as bad as some of the kids today. The complete lack of manners of some is something that really seems to bug me.

However, on a trip to the beach this week I met a polite young lady (YL). She told me that she was from Norwich and that she was on holiday with her Mum but their trip home had been delayed because of the volcano. She was very chatty and despite being alot older than J, they quickly became friends. I sat chatting with her Mum for about an hour whilst J and YL played in the sand and the puddles that the ocean had left behind when the tide had gone out. I realised that YL was so nice and polite because her Mum was just the same. It was lovely to meet them both and my faith in finding friendly “youth of today”, (I know I sound like my Nan now! LOL), with manners has been restored. All in all it was a very pleasant afternoon and J and I were both sad to leave when it was time to go home.

So there you have it, all is not lost there are preteens and teens out there who are friendly and have manners.

Read Full Post »

Public Holidays

Sorry folks but I’m about to have a rant……….Yesterday here in Queensland it was a public holiday. It was Anzac Day here on Sunday, so there were dawn services and marches, I think it’s fantastic that Aussies honour their world war veterans like this. However I don’t understand why there is a need for a public holiday the following day. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice for M to have an extra day off work and to have an extra family day, but there was next to nothing open.

We went into Brisbane, to the police headquarters to be precise, to find out about recruitment. There was a very helpful man on the front desk who informed us that there was no-one available because it was a public holiday! We were told to either ring or call back later in the week. I am asking myself should the services that the police offer be limited on a public holiday?  and I’m left wondering what other services are limited on public holidays?  

We then tried to do abit of shopping but again next to nothing was open…….What a waste of a day!

It’s a public holiday again next week but we are already making plans for this one so that we have something abit different to do, we’re planning on going to the V8 Supercar Series. 

Ok Rant over, sorry to go on. Thanks for reading.

Read Full Post »

Dear Nan

Hi Nan, I know it’s been a long time coming but I thought it was about time I said goodbye to you. I wasn’t sure how to say it, especially since we’re now in Oz and I can’t visit you, I think it would probably still be too hard to actually say the words to you anyway, so I thought I’d give it a go and do it this way.

I’ve thought about you alot lately Nan. It would have been your 85th birthday tomorrow, hope you have a fantastic party up there in heaven, don’t have too many Babyshams! It’s hard to believe that just 5 years ago we were celebrating your 80th, you had a great time at your party. It was just a few short weeks later that you said goodbye to us and joined Granddad and your babies. I struggled at your funeral Nan, I know I let you down but I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye. I still struggle with the fact that I’ll never see you again, not here on Earth anyway.

I remember our last outing, just a couple of days before your stroke. We were out walking and made you a daisy chain crown.I told you that you looked like an angel and you replied “I’ll always be your angel”. It was one of the last things you said tome Nan and I wonder if you knew what was about to happen. You kept you word Nan, after 4 miscarriages, 9 months after you left us J was born. He’s the best gift you could have given us, Thankyou Nan. His personality is alot like yours Nan, but I guess you know that already. Thankyou Nan, Thanks for being my angel and watching over not just me but J too. One of the hardest things is knowing that I’ll never see you hold him. I know that you talk to him all the time, we quite often spot him chatting to his Special Nanny, that’s what he calls you and let’s face it they don’t get anymore special than you.

Thankyou for everything you taught me Nan, you’ve made me the person I am today and I hope that I’ve made you proud. You were always there for me, always believed in me and always cared, I hope that I can always do the same for J.

I quite often sit and chat with you Nan but I can never bring myself to say goodbye, but 5 years is a long time and I think it’s time. I love you Nan, I always will. I hope that one day J loves and respects me as much as I do you.

“Stop blabbering on and getting all soppy!”, I can hear you now, so I’ll end my letter to you now.

So here goes, Goodbye Nan, until we meet again one day in heaven. I’ll keep trying to make you proud, keep watching over us Nan. Say hi to Granddad, Uncle Kevin and Uncle John and take care of our babies, I know you will.

Love you, bye for now

Jo xx

Read Full Post »

We’ve Arrived

Hi all, well we finally made it back to Australia! We’ve been back here for 2 weeks now and are settling into life here again quite well.

The flights (we had a stop and plane change in Singapore) were very long but J was very well-behaved and he only slept for about 5 hours, it was a 23 hour flight!!!  So all very tired when we arrived. The  cabin crew were fantastic, they kept J stocked up with toys, activities and snacks which all helped with his boredom. If any other parents/carers are travelling to this side of the world I would definitely recommend Singapore Airlines.

We’re renting a house north of Brisbane at the moment and M has started work, he’s back in his old job. However things have changed within his workplace and he’s not as happy there as he used to be. He’s considering a change of career and we’re off to investigate what it’s like south of Brisbane at the weekend. Our only concern is if we move again what sort of impact is that going to have on J?

I think once we’ve finally settled somewhere he’ll be fine but it’s the months in between that worry us. Whatever we do, we won’t do for a couple of months. Our belongings are due to arrive next month and we have to give a month’s notice to the rental agents. I suppose we’ll have to wait and see what happens in the next couple of months and also see what we discover at the weekend.

In the meantime if anyone has any ideas or tips on how we can help J to adapt to the changes that are happening and may  be about to happen please comment.

Read Full Post »